Stepping Off the Treadmill of Tech

by Susanna Dong | Sep 20, 2021 | Guest Blog

Stepping Off the Treadmill of Tech

Views expressed in guest blogs are the author’s own.

If I traveled back in time to meet my younger self and told her that I had quit my data engineering job to take a year-long break, my younger self would give me an incredulous look. “What are you going to do with all that time?” she would ask. “Won’t you run out of money? What will happen to your career?” Throughout college, I was solidly focused on my academics and career. I powered through a rigorous curriculum and was surrounded by very smart classmates. I carried this work ethic to my full-time data engineering job in New York City. Within the first six months of my professional career, I learned how to develop jobs in Apache Spark, a big data processing software, to crunch millions of production customer data points daily. I worked in other technologies such as databases, cloud infrastructure, distributed computing, and API programming. I also learned soft skills such as writing technical documentation, interfacing with customers to understand their needs, and handling on-call dumpster fires. I enjoyed exploring new lunch spots with coworkers, playing Dungeons and Dragons in my spare time, and reading fantasy novels on my commute to work. I’d be lying if I said that my professional dreams had come true. Behind the veil of productivity and success were the doubts and burnout. My first six months of the job involved a high-visibility project that I was wholly unfamiliar with, tech- or business-wise. This project also added to the stress of adjusting to post-grad life in an unfamiliar, fast-paced city. I’ve been known to reliably deliver any project I’ve been given, and was rewarded with more requests and responsibility. I was surrounded by very brilliant software engineers who seemed to know everything in the industry, while I felt like I was always just trailing behind their shadow. The treadmill of tech didn’t get any easier with the stresses the pandemic brought.

With the doubts and burnout lingering earlier this year, I contemplated on taking an extended break. There wasn’t any reason not to, since I was fortunate enough not to have to pay loans or medical bills. I looked realistically into an extended break by forming a rough budget and researching insurance options. Even with the planning and growing excitement, I spent a lot of time doubting myself on whether this was a good idea to quit with no job lined up. How would other potential employers see this gap in my resume? Was I abandoning my coworkers? Maybe I was too stressed to think clearly, so should I first take an extra long vacation to clear my head?

HALLOWEEN 2020 LAWN DECORATIONS – “WE’LL ONLY REST WHEN WE DIE.”

At the end, I asked myself, “What would my future self look back on – spending a year to take a break and do some cool things with a minor hit to my career, or to continue working myself to the bone?” Looking back at my academics and career thus far, I felt confident that I would work hard to re-enter the workforce after an extended break. I then confided to my close friends and family on this plan, and they were nothing short of supportive. Finally, I handed in my resignation. I am now five months into my gap year, and it has been a refreshing experience. I spent the first two weeks not doing much, simply resting and adjusting to the freedom. I then set myself a rough outline of how my week would go, while also not confining myself to optimize every minute of my life. This is the time to explore new hobbies, or to cultivate and refine existing ones. I took advantage of my free weekday time to enjoy the sights of NYC, or travel around the Northeast, avoiding weekend crowds in the process. So far I’ve taken online courses, volunteered, exercised my creative brain, exercised my body, and read novels. I keep in touch with family, friends, and colleagues regularly – virtually or in-person. I reflected on how I’ve grown in my career, what lessons I’ve learned, and what I value most in my career and life.

2021 TRIP TO PORTLAND, ME. CHANGE OF SCENERY AFTER MANY MONTHS IN NYC.

PAINTING MINIATURES FOR A FUN WAY TO UNWIND.

The treadmill of the tech industry is not easy to keep up with. Technology and business continue to evolve, which means there’s always something new to learn. Keeping up with the treadmill can also result in tunnel vision, moving so quickly that other aspects of life may blur in the process. I did end up nearly falling flat on my face as I stepped off the treadmill. However, after picking myself up, it has been nice to walk at my own pace and learn what I can do on my own terms. If you want to follow along in my gap year, you can check out my blog at www.warunlock.com!

SusanNa Dong

She / Her / Hers

Software / Data Engineer

Stepping Off the Treadmill of Tech

Views expressed in guest blogs are the author’s own.

HALLOWEEN 2020 LAWN DECORATIONS – “WE’LL ONLY REST WHEN WE DIE.”

2021 TRIP TO PORTLAND, ME. CHANGE OF SCENERY AFTER MANY MONTHS IN NYC.

PAINTING MINIATURES FOR A FUN WAY TO UNWIND.

If you want to follow along in my gap year, you can check out my blog at www.warunlock.com!

Susanna Dong

She / Her / Hers

Software / Data Engineer

Imposter Syndrome: Changing the Voice in Your Head

Views expressed in guest blogs are the author’s own.

The Harvard Business Review definition of imposter syndrome is, “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their incompetence.” It sounds extreme – impossible even – that someone could only be getting great feedback and still believe they’re not doing enough. I didn’t think I related to this, and always thought; this definitely does not apply to me. I know what I accomplish and that I am good at my job, so this can’t pertain to me, right?

Based on the title alone, I’m sure it’s apparent that I did indeed experience imposter syndrome. A lot, actually. It can be as small as getting a meeting from a manager that’s out of the blue and immediately expecting to get reprimanded or even outright fired. But for what? Possibly not yet answering an email I got 2 hours ago. Or I called in late to that one meeting. All of that anxiety only to get great feedback, getting asked to join a new project or even news of a raise (that’s not a made-up scenario by the way). I thought those thoughts without even realizing that that is imposter syndrome. It can be very disheartening when I have completed projects or solved problems and can only focus on what could have been done better, faster, different, without acknowledging what was done well, what challenges were overcome, or what was done ahead of schedule.

It really hit me that this was something I was silently drowning in when a new position opened, and I didn’t want to apply because I wasn’t 100% qualified. I was scared to apply out of fear of being disappointed because I didn’t believe my skills were good enough. Many people encouraged me to apply for said position, so I did, thinking I wouldn’t have a chance (though that didn’t stop me from over prepping for 3 days). And then something that I never believed would happen, happened, and I got the job. But wait…now what? Thoughts of not being good enough crept back in as I started questioning why I was hired.

You get the point – it’s constant. Suffocating. Entirely internal. But what can be done about it? Here are a few tips:

1. Talk about it! There are more of us dealing with this than I imagined. I was sure I was the only one, but as it turns out, I am not! And when we open that door of vulnerability, we also open the door to getting a different perspective of ourselves from others. It can open conversations to talking about goals, strengths, and shared knowledge. And when others know what you want to do, they will remember and recommend you for opportunities – and you gain the confidence to do the same for others.

2. Celebrate the wins. Instead of going over all the parts that went wrong or “not perfect”, take the time to acknowledge and appreciate what went well. Whether that’s treating yourself to your favorite food, spending some more time on a hobby, taking a bubble bath, buying a little something extra for yourself at Target (well, let’s be honest that always happens, but don’t feel guilty about it), or a social media post. Do something for yourself!

3. Don’t dwell on the failures. I say this entirely as a hypocrite, as I vividly remember crying in the shower for 3 hours after my first ‘F’ on a test in college, and honestly, it irks me to this day. I have since become aware of why it happened and realized what I could do to prepare better in the future. It takes active work – sometimes that includes time for a pity party – but I am getting better at rerouting my guilty, shameful thoughts into opportunities to try something new in the future.

4. Be kind to yourself. Isn’t that obvious? It sure seems like it, but once I started paying attention to my own internal initial thoughts, I realized I wasn’t nice to myself all that often. We’re our own worst critics, right? But we don’t have to be. I found myself listening to praise externally while simultaneously “correcting” it with negative feedback and negative examples in my own mind. It takes work to derail a rooted track like that, but acknowledging what is happening is the first step to course-correcting those thoughts. There’s so much to worry and stress about out there, we owe it to ourselves to prioritize self-care.

imposter_celebration_alyssa_stricklan_small

Celebrating my wins!

It’s not easy, I won’t lie. However, the outcome is worth the effort. I am by no means cured, (who even knows if that’s possible) but I can see change happening in real-time now and give myself the grace to take a moment to acknowledge my feelings of inadequacy, ask myself why I feel that way, and then go in a different direction with my thoughts. All this to say, you are not alone if you feel like this at times, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re doing great, and you’re going to be alright.

Alyssa Stricklan

She / Her / Hers

Commodity Manager | Intel

Imposter Syndrome: Changing the Voice in Your Head

Views expressed in guest blogs are the author’s own.

Based on the title alone, I’m sure it’s apparent that I did indeed experience imposter syndrome. A lot, actually. It can be as small as getting a meeting from a manager that’s out of the blue and immediately expecting to get reprimanded or even outright fired. But for what? Possibly not yet answering an email I got 2 hours ago. Or I called in late to that one meeting. All of that anxiety only to get great feedback, getting asked to be on a new project, or even news of a raise (that’s not a made-up scenario by the way). I thought those thoughts without even realizing that that is imposter syndrome. It can be very disheartening when I have completed projects or solved problems and can only focus on what could have been done better, faster, different, without acknowledging what was done well, what challenges were overcome, or what was done ahead of schedule.

You get the point – it’s constant. Suffocating. Entirely internal. But what can be done about it? Here are a few tips:

Celebrating my wins!

Alyssa Stricklan

She / Her / Hers

Commodity Manager | Intel

Why I Founded Chocolate Milk Diplomacy

If you’ve made it to this page, you probably have few questions…

Who Is Alex?

What is Chocolate Milk Diplomacy?

Why a Social Entrepreneurship? Why Now?

What Kind of Story Will CMD Tell?

I hope to answer all of those questions while sharing a part of my story with all of you.

Who is Alex Berry?

Born in Albany, GA, I grew up in the 90s surrounded by a rapidly diversifying, increasingly complex world. In school, I studied a little bit of everything: language, business, engineering, computer science, UI/UX, and so much more. Georgia Tech formalized this education and simultaneously allowed me to delve deep – and even let me out with a B.S. in Industrial Engineering and dual Business / Mandarin minors. Though mostly based in Atlanta, many of those formative years were spent in Europe, Southeast Asia, and around the globe. I learned that the really tough questions had a mix of people, process, policy, and power dynamics.

Coming out of school with an interdisciplinary background, I’ve worked in Big Chemical, Big Pharma, Big Paper, and Big Semiconductor. My longest and most interesting gig has been with Intel’s Global Supply Chain, learning to lead as a Technical Program Manager (i.e. master translator). Community of color empowerment and STEAM advocacy are my niches, so you’ll see me supporting nonprofits and mentoring within those areas. Outside of that you’ll find me supporting local theatre, playing soccer, watching anime, pretending how to cook, and drinking chocolate milk.

If you wanted to go one level deeper, and really know who I am, I’d have to tell you a few stories:

• Stories about how I struggled as an introvert to find my leadership style
• Stories of mentoring 50+ individuals of every race, religion, academic background, and gender
• Stories of taking my strategic thinking theories and implementing them in the real world
• Stories of traveling, studying, working, and failing around the world

And finally, I’d tell you about my journey as a social entrepreneur and founding CMD…

Chocolate Milk Diplomacy?

Originally, Chocolate Milk Diplomacy was an effort to find an intersection, a framework, that could tie a multitude of mentoring insights, nonprofit volunteering, and corporate methodologies into a framework for societal impact. Mentoring taught me about relationships; nonprofits provided an equity mindset; and the private sector contributed foundational business acumen.

…but where did the name come from?

Short Answer: I love Chocolate Milk.

Long Answer: For myself, and many of my team, “Chocolate Milk” represents so much more than a drink. It’s that nostalgic feeling that connects our past & present, childhood to adulthood. It’s a memory that offers stability in these times of change. As for “Diplomacy,” I see the alignment between your self care, your goals, your career, and your community as a constant negotiation – and one best had through a series of conversations.

Nostalgia + Conversations = Storytelling

(Chocolate Milk) (Diplomacy) (Chocolate Milk Diplomacy)

Our name represents our brand: A personal story pivoting to a professional world, similarly to the stories we’ve experienced during this global pandemic.

why Now?

Many people ask why we founded a business during a pandemic. However, CMD has been around since 2018. An initial brand came together in 2019. Even with 3 years of career navigation and community workshops, the covid-19 global pandemic changed everything. We transitioned to online workshops, digitized our brand, created a website, and strove to support the millions of covid-affected career seekers where they were. I felt the underserved individuals and untapped communities deserved a chance to tell their story.

january

2018

CMD starts offering career coaching, resume writing, interview preparation services under a new brand

March

2018

CMD's first event with the
National Society of Black Engineers

October

2019

CMD unveils its first self-led
packets at PSU SHPE Bomba Blast

February

2020

CMD hires its Design Partner,
Dyllan Elizabeth 善 Cabiles

March

2020

CMD pivots to a digital model in response
to the COVID-19 global pandemic

May

2020

CMD unveils its first website and brands itself as a social entrepreneurship

June

2020

CMD offers internships to create employment opportunities during the pandemic

October

2020

CMD joins the Hillsboro Black
Business Advisory Council

December

2020

CMD meets milestone of helping
1000 storytellers during the pandemic

January

2021

CMD incorporates as an LLC

March

2021

CMD expands and builds
out a marketing team

August

2021

CMD launches its blog,
Chester's Story Jar

September

2021

CMD launches new website
with e-commerce shop

A New Kind of Story?

When dreaming up CMD, I thought long and hard about the type of stories we wanted to help tell. We wanted our stories to be human-centered, and not numbers centered. I wanted CMD to be people driven, not profit-driven. I wanted a story about a small team making a big impact. And I wanted CMD to be a vehicle for reframing failure and helping people find their own career resilience. The CMD storytelling framework was derived from these ambitions as well as the desire to become social entrepreneurs. In simple terms, this means CMD is supporting people with million $$$ stories, but not a million dollars. We primarily serve those with nontraditional backgrounds making difficult transitions through crucial conversations. We are a business, but one that aims to change the way individuals & communities think about their careers.

With your help, we hope to equitably and sustainably bring career development resources to communities that have been untapped, underserved, and marginalized. With your help, we will tell stories, empower communities, and change systems. And we will do it all…

…One Story At A Time

Thanks for listening to my story. Spend some time learning more about CMD, Chester, and the ragtag crew of storytellers that make up Team CMD. Please feel free to reach out to me directly (for personal, professional, or organizational reasons). In a post-pandemic world, the Chocolate Milk is on me!

ALEX BERRY, PMP (裴维良)

He / Him / His

Founder, Career Coach, Community Facilitator

YouCanBookMe

Why I Founded Chocolate Milk Diplomacy

If you’ve made it to this page, you probably have few questions…

who is Alex?

What is CMD?

Why a Social Entrepreneurship?
Why Now?

What Kind of Story Will CMD Tell?

I hope to answer all of those questions while sharing a part of my story with all of you.

Who is Alex Berry?

If you wanted to go one level deeper, and really know who I am, I’d have to tell you a few stories:

And finally, I’d tell you about my journey as a social entrepreneur and founding CMD…

Chocolate Milk Diplomacy?

…but where did the name come from?

Short Answer: I love Chocolate Milk.

Nostalgia +

(Chocolate Milk)

Conversations =

(Diplomacy)

Storytelling

(Chocolate Milk Diplomacy)

Our name represents our brand: A personal story pivoting to a professional world, similarly to the stories we’ve experienced during this global pandemic.