Views expressed in guest blogs are the author’s own.

Based on the title alone, I’m sure it’s apparent that I did indeed experience imposter syndrome. A lot, actually. It can be as small as getting a meeting from a manager that’s out of the blue and immediately expecting to get reprimanded or even outright fired. But for what? Possibly not yet answering an email I got 2 hours ago. Or I called in late to that one meeting. All of that anxiety only to get great feedback, getting asked to join a new project or even news of a raise (that’s not a made-up scenario by the way). I thought those thoughts without even realizing that that is imposter syndrome. It can be very disheartening when I have completed projects or solved problems and can only focus on what could have been done better, faster, different, without acknowledging what was done well, what challenges were overcome, or what was done ahead of schedule.

It really hit me that this was something I was silently drowning in when a new position opened, and I didn’t want to apply because I wasn’t 100% qualified. I was scared to apply out of fear of being disappointed because I didn’t believe my skills were good enough. Many people encouraged me to apply for said position, so I did, thinking I wouldn’t have a chance (though that didn’t stop me from over prepping for 3 days). And then something that I never believed would happen, happened, and I got the job. But wait…now what? Thoughts of not being good enough crept back in as I started questioning why I was hired.

You get the point – it’s constant. Suffocating. Entirely internal. But what can be done about it? Here are a few tips:

1. Talk about it! There are more of us dealing with this than I imagined. I was sure I was the only one, but as it turns out, I am not! And when we open that door of vulnerability, we also open the door to getting a different perspective of ourselves from others. It can open conversations to talking about goals, strengths, and shared knowledge. And when others know what you want to do, they will remember and recommend you for opportunities – and you gain the confidence to do the same for others.

2. Celebrate the wins. Instead of going over all the parts that went wrong or “not perfect”, take the time to acknowledge and appreciate what went well. Whether that’s treating yourself to your favorite food, spending some more time on a hobby, taking a bubble bath, buying a little something extra for yourself at Target (well, let’s be honest that always happens, but don’t feel guilty about it), or a social media post. Do something for yourself!

3. Don’t dwell on the failures. I say this entirely as a hypocrite, as I vividly remember crying in the shower for 3 hours after my first ‘F’ on a test in college, and honestly, it irks me to this day. I have since become aware of why it happened and realized what I could do to prepare better in the future. It takes active work – sometimes that includes time for a pity party – but I am getting better at rerouting my guilty, shameful thoughts into opportunities to try something new in the future.

4. Be kind to yourself. Isn’t that obvious? It sure seems like it, but once I started paying attention to my own internal initial thoughts, I realized I wasn’t nice to myself all that often. We’re our own worst critics, right? But we don’t have to be. I found myself listening to praise externally while simultaneously “correcting” it with negative feedback and negative examples in my own mind. It takes work to derail a rooted track like that, but acknowledging what is happening is the first step to course-correcting those thoughts. There’s so much to worry and stress about out there, we owe it to ourselves to prioritize self-care.

Celebrating my wins!

It’s not easy, I won’t lie. However, the outcome is worth the effort. I am by no means cured, (who even knows if that’s possible) but I can see change happening in real-time now and give myself the grace to take a moment to acknowledge my feelings of inadequacy, ask myself why I feel that way, and then go in a different direction with my thoughts. All this to say, you are not alone if you feel like this at times, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re doing great, and you’re going to be alright.

Alyssa Stricklan

She / Her / Hers

Commodity Manager | Intel 

Views expressed in guest blogs are the author’s own.

The Harvard Business Review definition of imposter syndrome is, “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their incompetence.” It sounds extreme – impossible even – that someone could only be getting great feedback and still believe they’re not doing enough. I didn’t think I related to this, and always thought; this definitely does not apply to me. I know what I accomplish and that I am good at my job, so this can’t pertain to me, right?

Based on the title alone, I’m sure it’s apparent that I did indeed experience imposter syndrome. A lot, actually. It can be as small as getting a meeting from a manager that’s out of the blue and immediately expecting to get reprimanded or even outright fired. But for what? Possibly not yet answering an email I got 2 hours ago. Or I called in late to that one meeting. All of that anxiety only to get great feedback, getting asked to be on a new project, or even news of a raise (that’s not a made-up scenario by the way). I thought those thoughts without even realizing that that is imposter syndrome. It can be very disheartening when I have completed projects or solved problems and can only focus on what could have been done better, faster, different, without acknowledging what was done well, what challenges were overcome, or what was done ahead of schedule.

It really hit me that this was something I was silently drowning in when a new position opened, and I didn’t want to apply because I wasn’t 100% qualified. I was scared to apply out of fear of being disappointed because I didn’t believe my skills were good enough. Many people encouraged me to apply for said position, so I did, thinking I wouldn’t have a chance (though that didn’t stop me from over prepping for 3 days). And then something that I never believed would happen, happened, and I got the job. But wait…now what? Thoughts of not being good enough crept back in as I started questioning why I was hired.

You get the point – it’s constant. Suffocating. Entirely internal. But what can be done about it? Here are a few tips:

1. Talk about it! There are more of us dealing with this than I imagined. I was sure I was the only one, but as it turns out, I am not! And when we open that door of vulnerability, we also open the door to getting a different perspective of ourselves from others. It can open conversations to talking about goals, strengths, and shared knowledge. And when others know what you want to do, they will remember and recommend you for opportunities – and you gain the confidence to do the same for others.

2. Celebrate the wins. Instead of going over all the parts that went wrong or “not perfect”, take the time to acknowledge and appreciate what went well. Whether that’s treating yourself to your favorite food, spending some more time on a hobby, taking a bubble bath, buying a little something extra for yourself at Target (well, let’s be honest that always happens, but don’t feel guilty about it), or a social media post. Do something for yourself!

3. Don’t dwell on the failures. I say this entirely as a hypocrite, as I vividly remember crying in the shower for 3 hours after my first ‘F’ on a test in college, and honestly, it irks me to this day. I have since become aware of why it happened and realized what I could do to prepare better in the future. It takes active work – sometimes that includes time for a pity party – but I am getting better at rerouting my guilty, shameful thoughts into opportunities to try something new in the future.

4. Be kind to yourself. Isn’t that obvious? It sure seems like it, but once I started paying attention to my own internal initial thoughts, I realized I wasn’t nice to myself all that often. We’re our own worst critics, right? But we don’t have to be. I found myself listening to praise externally while simultaneously “correcting” it with negative feedback and negative examples in my own mind. It takes work to derail a rooted track like that, but acknowledging what is happening is the first step to course-correcting those thoughts. There’s so much to worry and stress about out there, we owe it to ourselves to prioritize self-care.

Celebrating my wins!

It’s not easy, I won’t lie. However, the outcome is worth the effort. I am by no means cured, (who even knows if that’s possible) but I can see change happening in real-time now and give myself the grace to take a moment to acknowledge my feelings of inadequacy, ask myself why I feel that way, and then go in a different direction with my thoughts. All this to say, you are not alone if you feel like this at times, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re doing great, and you’re going to be alright.

Alyssa Stricklan

She / Her / Hers

Commodity Manager | Intel

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